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ChrisPope

Help us come up with some hilarious meal names for Taco Nova!

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Hopefully I am not re-treading over anyone else's entry:

 

[Drinks]:

* StarQuake Shakes

- Vanilla

- Chocolate

- Blattfruit

 

Spice Tea

Sweet Tea

Water

Heavy Water

Dr. Fizzion Soda

 

[Adult Drink Menu]:

Kerona Light Beer

Starcore-ita (Pitcher)

Jose Quasar Tequila

Jose Quasar Tequila StarQuake Shake

Dos Ickies - "Stay filthy my friends."

 

[Meals]:

 

* Taco Nova Tacos (hard or soft - we don’t judge)

 - beef, chicken or veggie

 - comes with choice of lettuce, pico de gallo, REAL Cheese, and salsa 

 

* Indigestion Inception Burrito

 - Any burrito, wrapped inside a second burrito, wrapped inside a third burrito, smothered in onions, peppers and your choice of beans.  Comes with a free spinning top!

 

* Xenomorph Rib Ticklers

- Comes in 6 piece, 12 piece or 24 piece

- Dipping Sauces: Honey Mucus, Acid Reduction, Tangy Buffalo Chip, and Ranch

 

EDIT: Looks like I subconsciously stole this from tomimt's Xenomorph Slice.

 

[Combos]:

 

* Burpitos Grande

- Chose two burritos (Beef, Chicken or Space Monkey) and make way for a heaping helping of double re-fried beans, and spicy rice. Add some sour cream, pico de gallo and our special Guacaholymole and you’ve got something you’ll be sharing for hours to come.

 

[sides]:

 * Double re-fried beans

 * Chili con Quesy (mystery meat or triple bean!)

 * Crater-tots

 

* [Fiesta Packs!]:

- Take one star shaped piñata and pack it full of our Chill Con Quesy, double re-fried beans, spicy rice, Guacaholymole, salsa and a solid core of our burritos and you have yourself a real nova of taste waiting to happen. One good hit and dinner is served for everyone! A few hours later and you’ll have your own nova experience - a real crowd pleaser.

- Nuetron Star piñata - Serves 6

- White Dwarf piñata - Serves 12

- Red Super Giant piñata - Serves 256

 

[Possible (poor) Slogans]:

-“We won’t empty your pockets so you can leave with a real pant load!”

-“Relive the flavor!”

-“Outrun the burn!”

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Atomic_Matter

* [Fiesta Packs!]:

- Take one star shaped piñata and pack it full of our Chill Con Quesy, double re-fried beans, spicy rice, Guacaholymole, salsa and a solid core of our burritos and you have yourself a real nova of taste waiting to happen. One good hit and dinner is served for everyone! A few hours later and you’ll have your own nova experience - a real crowd pleaser.

 

 

This is seriously hilarious.

HCH

 

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* Taco Nova Tacos (hard or soft - we don’t judge)

This had me laughing way too hard.

 

Xenobites

 

Freshly roasted on Xenon!

If this doesn't come with a series of pins stuck into the top for no reason, then I guess this wasn't a Hellraiser reference. ;)

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I'm terrible with slogans, but here are some contributions for the other categories:

 

MEALS:

 

- Burr-Tac-En: A burrito stuffed with a taco stuffed with an enchilada. However, there wasn't enough room for all the meat and toppings, so it's just three flour tortillas wrapped together. Vegetarian option.

 

- Uncool Ranch® Boritos® Aburridos Taco: Taco Nova's lame cash-in on the success of a similar product marketed by their competitor, Taco Belch.

 

- The Gassy Gaucho's Forty-Flavor Flauta: May cause uncontrollable flautalence. [sic]

 

- 7-Lawyer Burrito: For a limited time only (read: until the inevitable litigation we're expecting starts keeping them busy), we've impressed our crack legal team into service crafting burritos. Taste the justice that Miles, Mia, Winston, Manfred, Franziska, Apollo, and Feenie are serving up today!

 

- Juan Jose Ruiz Chimichanga: Unlike most everything else here, this esoteric, cheese-filled concoction will keep your traffic backed up for days, esse.

 

COMBOS:

 

- Whole Enchilada Love Combo: Sits in your stomach like a lead ze...um...dirigible.

 

- C-C-C-Combo Platter: A tray of the chef's secret "Fireball" and "Dragon Punch" specialties, smothered in Double Inferno sauce. Available in quarter-circle and half-circle portions.

 

- D.I.Y. Taco Combo: A plot of land in South America, several seed packets of wheat, corn, lettuce, and tomato plants, and a dehydrated cow (just add water).

 

BEVERAGES:

 

- Orange Juice: Not actually made from oranges. Technically not juice, either, but you wouldn't drink it if you knew what it really was. But hey, it's artificially orange!

 

- Cavern Dew® Beaver Blast: The Labion flavor sensation!

 

- Licuado de Pablo: Pablo just kept screaming...and screaming...and we asked his mother to hire a babysitter or send him to daycare or something, but NOOOOO, she insisted on bringing him to work. He's a good kid, she said. He just wants to help out, she said. Let him make some food and he'll stop screaming, she said. So we turned Pablo into a smoothie. Limited quantities available.

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Nachos Blande - "Tastes like deep-fried cardboard.  Probably is."

Meteoric EMPanada - "Create an electrostatic discharge in your pants!"

Nacho Droid - "The one you are looking for is over there..."

Moonrocko Taco - "Comes in two varieties: 'cruchy' and 'dental work required'."

Black Holes and Rice - "The flavour sucks you right in!"
 

Quasarito - "Contains an active galactic nuclei of spices."

Frisco Crunchy Taco - "The best gorram taco in the 'verse."

Fiesty Andoritos - "Why is it blue?"

Spocko Taco - "The logical dessert choice."

Meridorito Gornditas - "Now in liquid format!"

Burryyyto - "Popular with Wookiees."

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...just stop.

How 'bout this instead?

 

You take this...

 

neo-the-finger-o.gif

 

...and shove it up your ass. Then crawl back to the Kickstarter comments section and act like an obnoxious piece of shit towards the other backers, since that's your true calling in life.

 

Meanwhile, I'll go milk my shitty joke for everything it's worth.

 

 

The Robertaco*

 

8n6jsqob.png

 

(* Yeah, it's just like-bait for Frede! C'mon Frede, I know deep down you love me! Let's be friends again!)

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And I'm inclined to agree! I was just milking it to piss off HCH.

 

By the way, if any mods feel the need to put me on timeout for my previous post (@pcj: Yeeees, you know you want to! Let the hate flow through you!), feel free to do so! I'll be pretty busy for the next 4 months and it'll give y'all a break from my incessant shitposting. But don't ban me just yet! I still got praises to heap on the SV team once the game gets released and it actually turns out to be good.

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And I'm inclined to agree! I was just milking it to piss off HCH.

 

By the way, if any mods feel the need to put me on timeout for my previous post (@pcj: Yeeees, you know you want to! Let the hate flow through you!), feel free to do so! I'll be pretty busy for the next 4 months and it'll give y'all a break from my incessant shitposting. But don't ban me just yet! I still got praises to heap on the SV team once the game gets released and it actually turns out to be good.

I read this last night and thought, ugh, generic boring trite. Reading the residual aftermath of your comment this morning was more attention then it deserved. It's going to take a lot more then a middle finger from Keanu Reeves to break my seasoned yet, thickened chicken skin sir/boy. I do honestly, and regretfully feel an unsavory inner obligation to inform you that my comments on kickstarter were all in defense of Troels and the Two Guys. As far as I'm concerned, some of the backers over there truly deserved a good tongue lashing for there surly temperaments. I am sorry if you are on of the inarticulate backers still coddling your microphallus but, I am more then happy to take on your un-opposing protestations. Please do yourself a service to go back and read through my commenting literature and how it was inspired, it would do you some good to invest in your education now and again. So I say to you, Frozen Cockburn, In the words of my earlier self, and back before you were graced by the posted pictorial of Master Kenobi... just stop. And the newly added...seriously.

 

HCH

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