Wow, I really like that outline you made, Jess. I think it'll be really fun to play. My only suggestion is that if we want the girl to be truely geeky, she should find a soldering iron in the drawer, and she resolders the cable. S_D suggested that that could simplify things to get this out quicker by having the soldering iron in the same toolbox as the pliers.
Also, the solder smoke could be a good device for a death scene, if we want at least one quick death scene in the game.
Just some ideas :)